March 2021

What an eventful, stressful month this was. My time this month was completely consumed by both the military and my freelance projects; it was either struggling to adapt in Pulau Tekong in the day or furiously coding at night to meet deadlines.

The highlight of the month would be taking the SATs on March 13th. I scored 1540! I'm overwhelmingly grateful that the weeks of studying had paid off, and that my effort wasn't to naught. With this result, I have only strengthened resolve to study Computer Science in the US. That still won't happen without great essays though, which I haven't made progress on this month. While I have done some brainstorming for topic ideas, I came to the realisation that there really isn't much "raw material" to work with — my life really hasn't been too eventful. I will try to adopt a more introspective mood in April and hopefully think of great ideas to write about.

As for my life in the military, I spent the month adapting to the culture and lifestyle in Pulau Tekong, this time not as a recruit but a permanent staff. Things are different now; We are given much more freedom and control, while also shouldering more responsibilities. I can have my meals and sleep on my own accord, but this also means I could be called immediately back to work during those times. I can stay up late and wake up later (sometimes), but I am no longer guaranteed at least 7 hours of rest each night. I quite like these new changes, as I am someone who enjoys more control over my own life. But the new responsibilities I have are already causing me some added stress, which I'm still learning how to deal with. Next month, I hope to get used to the environment and stress levels, and to contribute effectively in my new team.

Unfortunately, despite all the hard work, not much of it has been meaningful to me. So far, I haven't been able to come around to enjoy the logistic work I do for the military, and my passion for the freelance projects has wavered. I made the mistake of overcommitting to projects again, leaving me exhausted yet unfulfilled in what's supposed to be my hobby.

I'll have a few days off next month, which I'll use to do a small intervention for myself. I need to re-evaluate many of my goals for this year, and also point myself in a better direction for the next quarter of this year.